Get Over It!

“Get over it.”⁣
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“Move on.”⁣
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“Ali, your posts seem attention seeking.”⁣
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“You need help.”⁣
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“You’re toxic AF. Stay away from me and my family.” ⁣
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“Maybe you are bipolar, after all.”⁣
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“You’re a fraud. You may have everyone on social media fooled, but not me.”⁣
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“Stop holding a grudge.”⁣
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“You should be sued for what you’re saying.”⁣
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These are just some of the comments I’ve received from family members over the last five years as I’ve come onto social media to talk about my story, my experience and my healing. ⁣
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And the truth is, these words still hurt me sometimes, because for me, my perception of family was it’s supposed to be a backbone of support for us, a shelter for us in our darkest hours, but for many, including myself, these are not the cards we were dealt. ⁣
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In my darkest times I have clung to the community of other abuse survivors and had I not found some of these accounts very early on to help validate that I wasn’t crazy, that I wasn’t mentally ill, I can tell you quite assuredly I wouldn’t be here—I’d either be locked inside a mental institution on lots of drugs or I’d be dead. ⁣
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I’ve had the gift of many mentors, coaches and therapists who have brought me where I am today, learning how to validate my own story and experience and to stay out of the projections of family systems that aren’t ready to let their dysfunctional ways go. ⁣
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Have so been dysfunctional? Am I dysfunctional? ⁣
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Most certainly. ⁣
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But I work every day to make sure my side of the street is cleaned up—seeking awareness and offering apologies and amended behaviors, but the biggest shift I have made is taking myself out of this system, because inside of this system, no one wins and the next generation suffers…⁣
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So if you’re still struggling, if you’re still trying to control, change or blame yourself or others around you and it seems like this pattern is on repeat, maybe consider that you’re on a ship that’s destined to sink, and it’s time to grab a lifeboat…⁣